Stars and the Sun
by xFumblingThroughTheGray
Summary: "…It's like a goddamn tragedy, because you look at him and see the stars, and he looks at you and sees the sun. And you both think the other is just looking at the ground." A one-shot of what could have been turned into a potential fanfic.
1. Chapter One

"…It's like a goddamn tragedy, because you look at him and see the stars, and he looks at you and sees the sun. And you both think the other is just looking at the ground." –I couldn't find who said it first

Author's Note: May contain **spoilers**! This is a one-shot of Kyle/Ricky. I wish the show hadn't taken this route as a filler and really explored the possibility of them together a bit better.

`~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~`  
xFumblingThroughTheGray  
~^~^~^~^~^Presents~^~^~^~^~^~  
Stars and the Sun  
A Home & Away One-shot  
'~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~'

Deep into the darkened depths of night, Ricky had been battling mountains of paper work that'd piled up in the past couple weeks and was just moments from the sleep her body desperately craved. But first things first, she had to check to make sure Case wasn't driving Kyle up the wall. Casey had been teething and quite the little handful as of late which was why she was surprised to not be bombarded with dissatisfied wailing the moment he walked into the door of the house. In fact, not a creature was stirring. Not even a Braxton.

After doubling back to check the flat, she found the pair in Kyle's room. Kyle was laying on the left side of the bed with an arm extended out to encompass his nephew so Casey couldn't get far if the little rugrat woke up in the night. It wasn't how he normally slept but after all those days in a hospital bed, he rarely slept any other way. Other than that, Kyle was all Braxton with his sleeping habits. All the boys snored, but I low snore, an occasional snort with a few little bursts of breath. They slept cool too, if they had to sleep with a blanket, it was never pulled past their waist. It was adorable, even more so when she realized Casey mimicked a majority of Uncle Kyle's mannerisms.

But the smile on her lips didn't last, she could see the incision scar from his kidney transplant, the little angry-red reminder of how close she had been to losing him. It reminded her of a saying her mother constantly recited to her in her youth: it's only in the black of night you see the stars. And those stars will lead you back home. She was right. It wasn't that she ever didn't appreciate Kyle. She did. It's just she didn't realize that Kyle'd turn into her guiding light, her shining star that would show through the darkness and it took her almost losing him to see just how important he truly was to her.

Shaking herself from her musings, the exhausted mother gently nudged Kyle to wake him.

xXx

He blinks the antagonizing weight on his eyelids away, navigates his way through the murky haze of sleep, to emerge from it with a grumbling sound that vaguely resembles an animal's growl. Immediately eyes still glazed with sleep flicker down to his nephew, checking on the infant to make sure the little guy wasn't trying to wiggle away, but the baby boy was sleeping just as soundly as Kyle had been moments before. A sleepy smile slips onto his features as Kyle examines his nephew oblivious to another presence in the room. It was moments like this where he didn't feel so broken, so lost adrift a sea of sadness and mourning. Looking at the beautiful baby boy, all Kyle Braxton's troubles simply melted away.

"Kyle," Ricky whispered, a soft hand gently nudging at his shoulder once more and pulling his attention from the slumbering infant towards her.

Slants of illumination crept in from the blinds highlighting the blonde's features just enough for him to be able to know it was her.

"Ric, hey," Kyle grumbles, the gravely baritones of his voice still thick with sleep. A thick arm strategically slips itself out from under the tiny tot, while his other hand presses into the mattress to push himself into sitting upright. "Sorry, I must've dozed off."

"Don't worry about it," she quickly dismissed. She knew that past few days had weighed heavily on him and he was long overdue for some rest. "Hope Casey wasn't too much trouble."

"No trouble at all," Kyle declares. "Actually, hanging with Case was exactly what I needed."

Kyle'd been put through the ringer in the past year, first the Casey his nephew was named for, then Brax, then Phoebe, and the twins. Loss had weighed heavily on him and almost swallowed him whole and it would have if he didn't decide to focus on what he had instead.

"Good," Ricky said with a smile laced with relief.

"He went down about an hour ago, but probably not a good idea to try and move the little guy," Kyle assessed, kicking his feet over the edge of the bed and planting them on the floor. "Why don't you two stay in here tonight and I'll go sleep on the couch."

"Don't be silly. We're not going to kick you out of your bed," Ricky responded, the objection almost as instantaneous as what followed. "There's plenty of room."

Kyle's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but he nodded and scooted back down into the comfort of his mattress before he could make up his mind on whether this was crossing some sort of barrier he'd tried to set for himself. Ricky was, well Ricky. He never defined her as anything but, never even thought about thinking of her in any particular way… but lately his mind had been beginning to wander whether he wanted it to or not. But there's no turning back now. Ricky had already moved around to the other side of the bed and nestled in comfortably next to her beautiful baby boy, the small smile on her features a ray of sunshine.

"Goodnight, Ric," Kyle whispers, her contagious smile slipping onto his lips as his eyes close.

Her eyes wander up from baby Case back to Kyle for one last look before closing her eyes too.

"G'night, mate."

Thanks for reading


	2. Chapter Two

AN: So I decided to attempt to take this oneshot and turn it into something bigger… hopefully better. So I'm adjusting the timeline a bit. Kyle and Ricky kiss is in the past but before Eye for an Eye. Nate and Ricky are together. May end up with spoilers but is AUish leading into a revamped Eye for an Eye.

`~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~`  
xFumblingThroughTheGray  
~^~^~^~^~^Presents~^~^~^~^~^~  
Stars and the Sun  
A Home & Away One-shot turned Fanfic  
'~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~'

And without further ado,

Chapter Two

Morning had crept up on the sleeping mother, the sun kissing the window and sending an awful golden glare in her direction a clear indicator. The glare penetrated her eyelids in an attempt to condemn her to wake up. She flipped over in a feeble attempt to shy away from the light and dip back into the darkened depths of sleep, hoping to steal a few more minutes before her beautiful baby boy would inevitably play alarm clock and responsibility would force her back into the waking world.

Wait, why hadn't Casey woken her yet?

The moment the thought ran through her head, it was off the pillow. After several blinks in an attempt to remove the blur of sleep from her eyes, Ricky realized she wasn't in her flat. Instead of the open sight-lines of her flat, her eyes took in the cramped quarters of the broody Braxton; and the pillow she'd lifted her head off of wasn't a pillow at all. Instead of the feathery fluff of a pillow, her head had been resting against his chest. Her body was snuggled up against his, the contours of their bodies fitting together like a puzzle.

And she wasn't the only one snuggled up to Kyle. Baby Case was sprawled out over his Uncle's stomach with arms draping down over either side of his ribcage.

"You're staring," she heard Kyle murmur, between being so engrossed in the cuteness of the two men in her life snuggled and the sleepiness in his tone she was vaguely surprised understood him. A blush of red painted itself across the blonde's cheeks as her eyes scanned his features to see if he'd even opened his eyes. But they remained hidden behind heavy lids and a curtain of long lashes. If it wasn't for the smug grin that slipped onto the usually brooding Braxton's lips, she'd of thought she was hearing things. Immediately, she denied the accusation trying to laugh it off but the moment beautiful brown peeked out at her, she knew he could read her like a book. Kyle always had that talent. He hadn't even had to look at her to feel her gaze on him, and when he did actually look, he always peered right into her soul. "Don't get me wrong, Ric…I don't mind."

Her heart quickened with each syllable and was nearly pounding out of her chest by the time he'd finished. Her mind was swimming, barely treading as she tried to process what was happening. Swallowing hard, the blonde shifted so she was propped up on her forearm still tucked up against him, the lock of their gazes never wavering. She'd never thought of Kyle in more than a plutonic sort of way, so why did she suddenly feel drawn to him in a way that was the polar opposite. He sensed the shift- the electricity igniting between them- and found his hand reaching down to cup her face, the pad of his thumb gently stroking her cheek. Then he licked his lips in nervous anticipation and her eyes followed.

"Kyle," came the last tortured whisper as she pressed her hands down into the bed to propel herself up and into him. Her lips crashed into his with a hunger she hadn't felt in a long time but every tantalizing taste only made her want more…

"Ricky," she heard him whisper, but it sounded distorted, distant. "'Ey, Ric." Heavy lids lifted to reveal gorgeous green, everything slightly hazy as she came from the depths of her dream. Kyle sat on the edge of the bed with little Case sitting on his lap, a toothless grin on the baby's face as Kyle's fingers absentmindedly prodded over the little tike's feet. "Rise 'n shine, Sleeping Beauty. Case cooked you up some brekkie."

His brow furrowed slightly when his comment didn't seem to register. And that wasn't the only thing off with her, he quickly realized. Her cheeks were flush, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath, and she wouldn't meet his gaze. "Ric, you feeling okay? You don't look too good."

"Wha-"she starts shaking the thoughts that surged through her mind. "Yeah, I'm fine."

He seemed to take her at her word, but there's still a wary gleam in his eye as he's nodding that she recognized all too well. Since Brax got locked up- and long before then if she was being honest with herself- Kyle was always so protective and caring. He'd undoubtedly keep an eye on her throughout the day and she'd let him- she'd dismiss the dream as complete randomness and act like it never happened.

"Okay," Kyle accepted, a small smile etching its way onto Kyle's lip as his attention left her and flickered back to Casey. "Well, Chef Casey here will be your breakfast date this morning. I've got to go meet that vendor down at Angelo's."

"That's today?" she questioned, kicking herself for letting it slip her mind running a hand over her features and trying to wake up. "Ugh, I completely forgot about that."

"Don't worry about it. I can handle it. You just keep this little guy out of trouble," he teased handing the tiny tot back to his mom.

A gorgeous smile slipped on to the mother's lips as she took her baby boy into her arms and it was simply contagious. Reaching up, Kyle ruffled the peach fuzz atop his nephew's head before climbing to his feet. "And you keep an eye on your mum."

He moved about his room looking for his messenger bag scooping up files on his desk, as Ricky climbed out of his bed, clothes a wrinkled mess and sleep still in her features but he still found himself pausing for the briefest of seconds to stare. Beautiful. It felt too feeble and inaccurate a word to describe the woman before him but it was all he could think. She was his sunlight, the thing that made him get out of bed in the morning… but just like the sun, he shouldn't be staring at it. He shouldn't be looking at Ricky like this, thinking of her like this. But the more time they spent together, the more he found himself falling for the girl that could never be his.

She was so in love with his brother, that she couldn't even open her eyes to the possibility of loving him, too. She'd shielded herself for so long- built those walls so high t barricade herself from those feelings- that when he'd kissed her before she ran straight into the arms of Dr. Nate Cooper. History always repeated itself. And Kyle couldn't blame her. Nate was the pinnacle of your stereotypical perfect man: doctor, handsome, athletic, kind, and great with kids. The total package that any woman would be dying to have, but Ricky wasn't most women.

A fact that he knew all too well.

"Thanks, mate," Ricky called pulling Kyle back to reality.

Mate. God how he wished she could see what she does to him; all the bruising and bleeding that has occurred in his heart. She doesn't see how each stray touch, laugh, or little act of friendship- like calling him mate- stabbed painfully somewhere deep in his chest, messier and more painful than any injury ever inflicted upon him. Every breath she takes, every look in her eyes, every word… everything was a weapon she uses against him unknowingly.

And he'll suffer in silence. He'll grin and bear the constant torture knowing that being there for her was more important. He'll be her friend. Her rock. Whatever she needs. Because that's what he promised his brother. He promised to look out for Ricky and Casey… not fall in love with her. That was a choice he made all his own and a choice he had to live with.

"Anytime," he offered up before nodding and slipping out the room.

xXx

Constant conflicting and crazy schedules had kept Ricky out of his arms all week and he missed her so much so that -even though exhaustion plagued every fiber of the young doctor's being- Dr. Nate Cooper decided to bring his love coffee after coming off a nightshift. A few minutes was better than nothing at all. But nothing at all was starting to look like what he might end up with. After several knocks on Ricky's door, she didn't seem to be home.

Letting out a weary sigh, Nate turned to walk away crashing right into the hurrying Braxton boy already running late. The flimsy tray didn't stand a chance keeping the coffees stable when running straight into the hard muscled form of Kyle. Cups bent, liquid splashes, and then a heat scalded at his flesh.

"Sss," Kyle hissed jumping back from the heat, casting his messenger bag aside to protect the documents within from the coffee's heat. "Damn it, Nate."

"Oh man, Kyle!" the exhausted doctor fretted, the majority for the scalding liquid finding itself on the concrete or the front of Kyles shirt. "I'm so sorry."

Accidents happened. Kyle understood that more than anyone but he didn't have the time or patients to fumble with accepting apologies and hugging it out. Besides, he was far too busy trying to keep the heat off his flesh, pulling at the fabric of his tee to distance it from him. And Nate continued to fumble with his words and hands, the usually skilled hands and calm under pressure doctor frazzled by exhaustion and embracement. "Let me um—"

"I got it," Kyle snapped a bit more vehemently than intended. Letting out a huff, Kyle turned to walk away but stopped at the door correcting his tone and trying to be a good person. Figuring the reason Nate was there was not to bring him coffee, Kyle nodded for Nate to follow him back into the house, "If you're looking for Ric, she's over here."

Nate's brow arched slightly at Kyle's statement as his mind tunneled down a dangerous path. Why exactly was Ricky not in her flat in the early morning hours? Just as quickly as he thought it, he regretted it. His past dealings with a Braxton and his relationship with Ricky had burned him and seared a jealousy in him that he hated. It wasn't fair of Nate to cast his insecurities onto Kyle but still every moment between the two would always be overanalyzed and dissected. He'd always be wary of Kyle Braxton because whether he like it or not, Ricky and Kyle would always be connected.

Whataya' think?  
Should I keep going with this or  
should I have left it a one-shot?


	3. Chapter Three

Summary: "…It's like a goddamn tragedy, because you look at him and see the stars, and he looks at you and sees the sun. And you both think the other is just looking at the ground." A one-shot of what could have been turned into a fanfic.

`~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~`  
xFumblingThroughTheGray  
~^~^~^~^~^Presents~^~^~^~^~^~  
Stars and the Sun  
A Home & Away One-shot turned Fanfic  
'~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~'

And without further ado,

Chapter Three

Slowly, Kyle Braxton walks his fingertips across tiny feet one by one prodding lightly as obligatory giggles of his nephew fill the air and the moment he stops the infant's face scrunches up in anticipation. Then he continues, a new fit of laughter echoing into the air, Casey's tiny face awash with absolute joy causing a smile to slip onto his lips. It's moments like this that Ricky enjoys walking in on. She often finds herself hanging in doorframes taking the image in like a breath. It is enchanting seeing the way they are with one another, the adoration in their eyes. (It isn't that Casey is ever unhappy to see anyone, but the way he lights up whenever his Uncle Kyle is around being unique to him.)

And the moments that Kyle's smile actually reaches his eyes are reserved only for his family, his usual stoic demeanor and pursed lips abandoned. She enjoys seeing him happy. After everything, God knows he deserves it. Not wanting to disturb the boys bonding, Ricky tip-toes down the hall and into Kyle's room to get the numbers from his meeting with the new vendor. His room still is in the same casual disarray as it was this morning except for his messenger bag that is now on the bed. Not wasting time Ricky drops down on the edge of the bed and digs through the bag expecting to come up with the file. And she does, but there's another document on top; one she never knew existed let alone knew if she should read or not. Yet, curiosity gets the best of her. After all, it is addressed to her.

 _Ric,_

 _If you're reading this then this whole bum kidney thing did me in. Yeah, it sucks but I'm not surprised. I never imagined growing old. As a kid in the system, we were taught not to really expect anything… so I lived my life recklessly, burned brightly and without fear of burning out. Even now, I'm not afraid of dying…_

 _But I'm terrified about what will happen to you if I do._

 _I've seen the toll my family has taken on you. Without even meaning to, again and again, we've hurt you. We snuck into your heart and into your world just to turn it upside down every time one of us left. And that's a way I never wanted to be like my brothers. I wanted to be someone you could always count on, someone who'd never leave. But I did. I ran off to Melbourne searching for something to fill the void Phoebe left when I should've stayed with you and Case. That's why I woke up in Melbourne. I didn't want to leave you two. I just remember darkness then you pleading with me to not be the third. That's why I fought to come back to you and in truth, you and Casey are the only reason I'm still fighting._

 _But if I lose this fight and this is really the end for me, I want you to do a few things: Tell Case I'm sorry. I'd made so many promises to him and I wish I could be around to watch him grow up. But most importantly be sure to tell him about the uncle he's named after. If he turns out like any of us Braxtons, I pray it's him. And you Ric, please, don't let my death take a moment away from your life, Ric. Go on adventures. Take chances. Find your passion. Live. And most importantly love._

 _Don't let losing me be an excuse to build up those walls around your heart any higher. Instead, tear them down. Open yourself to the possibility of love. Seek it out and embrace it… like I wish I would've done. I loved you more than I ever found a way to tell you. It was never my intention but how could I have not? I know I should've taken this to my grave, that these last few sentences are selfish but I don't care._

 _I loved you._

 _-Kyle_

Confusion dances in Ricky's eyes as she pours over the page, chills bunching over briskly tanned flesh and making hairs stand on end as the powerful declaration pierces her soul. How could someone she swears she knows so well surprise her like this? If he truly feels this way, shouldn't she have noticed? How could she that them kissing before was something more? She tries desperately to soak up the words- to find any indication it isn't genuine- but soon finds that she is soaking the page. Tears spilt down her cheeks and onto the page, smudging the ink.

Cursing under her breath, Ricky tries to blot the piece of paper and futilely tries to restore the page to its untouched glory. But there is no denying the way the ink bled, no erasing the minor way it crinkled where salty tears had tarnished the immaculate white. She can't tuck the page back in his bag and pretend she never saw it… but does she want to?

Her head is spinning and she can barely wrap her head around Kyle loving her, let alone what she feels for him. Footfalls drawing near make her heart slam into her chest and her actions aren't thought out. Frantic fingers fold the paper and she slips it into her back pocket in the nick of time.

"See mate," he coos to Casey, a smile on his face, "I told you mum went this way."

Maybe it is the adrenaline coursing through her veins that makes her hyperaware of him in that moment. Maybe it is just knowing what she knows now but whatever it is, she finally sees past the surface emotions he wears like a mask and sees what's lurking beneath- longing, lust, resignation, and restraint. There's been a whirlpool of emotions festering beneath the surface and he fights like hell against it to be there for her in the way he thinks she needs. And she does need him. That's never been in question. What is now though, is does she want him.

To Be Continued…

Author's Note: One of my favorite things about fan-fiction is the reviews! I'm from the US and literally no one I know has even heard of home and away and it's great to hear from everyone. Plus it really helps me craft and mold the story plus lights a fire under my butt to keep going. So reviews are greatly appreciated and thank you to all of you did on the past chapter!


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